22.

When I think about about who I am now and the person I've become. I'm thankful. But I also look at myself and the there's another side people don't see of me. That side being based on fear which has made me hold back from a lot of things. I fear a lot of things. One thing's certain is that I fear emotional roller coasters more than ever. I thought that to runaway from reality was the only solution to my problems. Hiding from the world. I thought. Maybe if I disappeared for a bit nobody would be able to emotionally scar me anymore. But that only drew me further away from myself. Even though I have overcome most of my problems there is still that brokenness that is awaiting a fix. I don't know if that will go away in time. If that really relies on me. If I need to be more open. Maybe that takes maturity. It's where I feel lost in the world, it's where most of us lose our level of sense because we are deathly confused about where we belong, who we're meant for, what we're meant for. We fear who we don't want to be. In times like these I guess I need to pray harder than ever for strength because I can't do this alone anymore.